Beer and Roaming in Las Vegas

Where have I been the last few weeks? Vegas, that's where. I have a theory that Las Vegas doesn't actually exist. You get on a plane, they pump in some hallucinogens and then you 'land' in Vegas. It's a good place to spend a birthday. With this new year on my age, I feel I've picked up a little wisdom. Wisdom about the city of fantasy, temptation and as much sin as that all leads to. I will dispense that wisdom now.

Wear sunscreen (and sunglasses). If I could offer you only one tip for Las Vegas, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists (maybe), whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

Drink water. You'll hear people hawking water for a dollar on the strip. Buy it. Between the dry air and all the booze and coffee you're drinking, you'll need it.

Wear comfortable shoes. The Stratosphere is farther away than it looks, but probably worth the visit. Unlike the Trump which is closer than it looks but not worth the visit in any way.

On second thought just take a cab. Especially if you have more than one person. You can go from one end of the strip to the other for $15. The monorail isn't a bad idea if you're solo. It's quick and $5 per trip. If you're 'that guy' you can jump the gates and it's free. Cameras are everywhere in that town, though. Be warned.

Don't bother with a rental car, you'll only end up frustrated.

Take the escalators before your feet start hurting.

When playing table games with or against chatty players, adopt an alter-ego. It's fun and challenging.

A word on strip clubs, you can debate which one's best 'til you're blue in the balls. The best deal is this, you can get free entry, a free ride to the club and usually a free drink to ANY club you want. The catch? Nothing, you just call and ask. Seriously. Try it. Be amazed. They know how much money you're going to drop once you get there, so the first round is on them.
One word of warning: don't use a credit card, they will overcharge you. ATM fees will probably be even higher than the casinos, too.
And you can get sex in the champagne room, but it will lead to herpes. Your mileage may vary, etc.

I've been known to keep keycards from whichever hotel I stay at to access different pools on later trips. An opponent of mine at the poker table took this one step further. She buys them on eBay. She said they work even when the employees swipe them at the pool. At least it did at Bellagio with what she said was a six-year-old card. Or maybe they work because she's female. Or maybe no one really cares if you poach their pool.

Serendipity 3 is a restaurant by Caesar's Palace known for big plates. Among them is a chocolate treasure chest filled with cake, ice cream, chocolate-covered fruit and deep-fried Oreos. It goes for $88 and should only be attempted by 8 or more people (no matter what the menu says). My crew of 10 didn't even finish it... Totally worth the effort anyway.

Eat at Nobu. Believe the hype, but bring a hundo.

The rest of the time, eat on the cheap at food courts. In-N-Out, Fat Burger and all your other more traditional fast food places are here, too. One list of good deals is at lasvegasadvisor.com. Come to think of it, they have lots of good info.

Once and for all, you do not have to gamble to have a good time. Vegas has amazing restaurants, nightclubs, comedians, shows, pools and even outdoor activities. If you don't want to go outside at all (maybe it's 120°outside), you don't have to. Every hotel on the strip and the bigger ones off-strip and downtown have a selection of restaurants, clubs, bars and shows. If you want to get away, Hoover Dam and Lake Mead are nearby, so is some great rock climbing and even snowboarding. Another popular thing to do is head over to The Gun Store and shoot some machine guns. Yes, really. Everyone has different 'must see and do' lists. Just remember that everything is possible. It's your job to find out how.

Everything is cheaper downtown. From $1 craps to $1.99 shrimp cocktails. Quality adjusts accordingly.

That said, don't try to do too much or you'll end up just glossing over it all. It's the age-old quantity vs. quality debate in action. My rotation was pool, eat, poker, eat/drink, nap. Play poker at different places, eat and drink at different places and you'll get to see a bit of the offerings. Unless your trip is a couple weeks long, don't think you'll get to see everything in town or even everything on the strip in one visit. It's OK, Vegas isn't going anywhere.

A couple sites I go to for Vegas info are cheapovegas.com and twoplustwo.com. Twoplustwo is a poker forum, but the Vegas Lifestyle area is quite informative. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments, I'm always looking for new ideas and things to see in the City of Exorbitant Imagination.

See you there and good luck! Unless you're at my table, then I hope you always chase and miss.

Family Times

Remember that winter a while back when Portland got buried under snow and refused to dig itself out? How 'bout now? OK. Amtrak was kind enough to give me a voucher for destroying my holiday travel plans, so I thought I'd give them another try. Free trip, what could possibly go wrong, right?

I'll skip the suspense, the train was altogether mediocre and nothing major actually went wrong. Chatty Cathy sat next to me half of the way there (with BO worse than mine) and the water on the train tasted like it came straight from a river. To solve these problems for the return trip, I bought some single-serving fruit punch mix packets and didn't sleep for 24 before departure. Most of the return leg was spent in dreamland and when I was awake, I was sippin' on some tasty artificial colors and flavors instead of straight fish spit. Yum!

The point of all this gallivanting was to spend time with my family. Everybody was back home for the first time since people were doing the macarena. Packed in to the house where I grew up were 14 of us, including little girls age 3, 4 and 7. They're cute, but when you get them all together they're too energetic for me. Something like five Nerf guns were rat-a-tat-tat-ing everything that moved (suction tips DO stick to bald heads!). I'm sure I heard the carpet screaming for mercy. Effective birth control, I say.

One big family. Wait... one big happy family!

My sleep schedule never seemed to mesh with everyone else's. My Pacific time body was up until 4am Central time playing poker every night. Since it always feels like midnight in the dungeon where I slept, the first day I woke up at 4pm. After that it was pretty well over. Everyone else got up when the girls got up (7 or 8am). Right about the time I was getting up, they were taking their afternoon naps. One morning, with the motivation of my mom's sweet rolls I rolled out of bed before noon. We generally just got together for the important stuff, dinner and one night of fireworks. Going by smells worked pretty well. If you smell coffee, it's too early. Go back to sleep. Bug spray and cut grass come later. The smell of food cooking always brings good news. The nights smelled like gunpowder and beer. No watch necessary.

Somehow, Amtrak messed up again, leaving me with even more money in vouchers. Maybe they just want me to see my family more often. Can't much argue that.

Holidays, New Year and Then Some

We're officially into it, the teens. I expect it to be awkward. Change. Growth. Distractions. Just like any decade, I guess. Hell, I'm already 1 for 1 on writing checks, how bad could it be!?

This was actually my first holiday season without contact with my family. I've been stuck in airports and on trains for Christmas, but I always managed to find a way home. This year, I just decided to forgo the whole long-distance winter travel to a small town in the middle of nowhere scenario. Instead I went to Sunriver, OR where my friend and his family rented a vacation house for the week. I got to Skype with my family, which of course turned into my six year-old niece goofing off for the camera and precluding any real conversation. The family vibe was high at the rental home and it was packed with 14 of us, so it felt like 'home for the holidays' for sure. The bonus was two days of snowboarding at Mt. Bachelor, just an hour's drive away. Peep the pixels.

12/23 - The first day Northwest Express was running

12/24 - the first day Summit Express was running
Gotta get those lifts running by Christmas and we were there to use 'em!

After four days of Christmas cheer it was back home to Portland for a tic and then up to Bellingham, WA with my girlfriend for our traditional New Year's festivities: shredding Baker for New Year's Eve and ringing in the decade at a warm, boozy house party. This year that meant I got to hang out with some friends I met up in Baldface last year. Snowboard friends become good friends quickly and it's been great hanging out with Martin, Jeff, Jesse and all the rest over this past year. There's nobody I'd rather ring the new year in with than my girl and some of my best new friends.

With that, here we are. 2010. Keep reading the blog and dropping your comments. I can promise you nothing but the best of my abilities, which hopefully improve throughout time. Got anything you want to hear about, let me know. I've got a handful of board demos to tell you about in the coming days and another board demo to attend this weekend. This one's only Burton boards though. What should I try? I'd like to check out some different cambers, a Malolo if it's powdery, something jibby and loose to round things out.

Also coming up quick is my Level 1 Avalanche certification. My kit is complete except the beacon and a good pack. Which reminds me, I'll be introducing you to a custom backpack maker, too. He just happens to be my cousin.

After that, the Legendary Banked Slalom at Baker. More good times with the crew up there. Followed by an epic, three-stop shred trip: Salt Lake, Aspen and Jackson. Any of you live in those areas or have advice thereto, let me hear it. Especially Jackson, I'm going in with nothing but some lift ticket vouchers. Not quite seat of the pants, but not quite fully clothed either, if you smell what I'm stepping in. Baldface comes next, speaking of epic. That's about as far ahead as I plan. Some 'maybes' in there: North Face Masters at Crystal Mountain, Level 2 Avalanche certification, Ride Shakedown at Snowqualmie. Lots going down and I'll be sure to tell you all about it. Just like I told you about Cambodia. Yeah, you thought I forgot. I'm working on some big things there. Here's a taste.

Anybody ever see Tomb Raider? I haven't but apparently this tree figures in a scene.
Ta Prohm, Angkor Province, Cambodia

Here's to the best year yet. May all your powder be deep and safe. May your landings be as solid as your joints. And may you always have the prefect words when recounting your tales of deep powder and solid landings!

Mental Expansion

Anthony Bourdain once likened experiencing Asia to dropping acid. "Your mind expands," he said. He plans to move to Southeast Asia with his wife and daughter in the coming years. (Outside, 11/07) Now after having been there, I know a little bit more about what he means.

Bourdain talked about the color in the region. That was the first thing I noticed, too. Starting with the cabs outside the airport. Most of them are pink. Pink and green, pink and yellow, some yellow and green or green and red maybe. I don't know if Airblaster is doing their colorways, but it was quite the visual stimulation.

Then the mix of sights came closer to home. An Obama poster. A billboard for a Green Day show in Bangkok. Tidbits of globalization in an otherwise foreign land.

Without a doubt, though, this was not America. Distinct Thai flavor came through with every turn of the head.

You don't see architecture like this in Portland.

One Buddha head in the roots. Extra signficant because...

All the rest are decapitated (Wat Mahatat, Ayutthaya)

No idea what's going on in this traffic circle.

Another mythical animal (elephant dragon?) from the same circle.

Gold light posts and bad traffic; the streets of Ayutthaya.

Elephants amaze me. A friend volunteers at an elephant rehab center.
I got to play with a month-old baby and it was about the cutest thing ever.

The drippy light street. The lights form a triangle of rain every night, one street only.

And that was just the first three 'shake off the jetlag' days in Thailand. Part two: a week in Cambodia providing water to villagers and seeing the wondrous temples.

I Come Back To SNOW!?

OK, I'm back in the US after a November trip to Southeast Asia and Mt. Hood is already rocking out like GWAR is in town. Quick comparison, Cambodia feels like being wrapped in a body-sized moist towelette and then stuffed into a sauna. After that, Portland felt a tad chilly. I did catch a good look at Hood from the 205 bridge the other day and spontaneously burst into operatic song. The bitch went from bald to white afro faster than you can say rogaine with monoxodil. After I shake off the jet lag and my mysteriously tweaked leg, I'll be up there. Maybe tomorrow. In the mean time I'll look for some appropriate pictures from the Kingdom of Wonder (Cambodia) to share with you. Keep the box locked on the one that rocks, Lazer 96.1 (radio station of my youth).

How Can One Guy Have So Many Opportunities?

On the road again. This time by plane. Does that make sense? In the sky again? Anyway, I'm going to Thailand and Cambodia for a while to do some humanitarian work. Turns out my friend's brother-in-law has a charity that installs water wells for villages that have inadequate access to water. Inadequate in this case means they have to walk 10 miles every day to get water. Ponder that next time you're daydreaming under your hot shower. So no posts for a bit, then probably one picture-laden novella. Then I'll be snowboarding. Good stuff.

Happy Holidays!

Christmas day and I'm posting a blog. Never thought it would come to this. Today I'm finally supposed to get on my train back to my parents' place in North Dakota. I checked on yesterday's train and it made it out of town just fine. It's only running five hours late, too, which isn't that bad for that route. If that holds true for my trip I will have over 30 hours of fun time on the Amtrak Empire Builder. Sounds like plenty of time for snowboard movies, books, magazines, beer, free food (perks of having to ride in a bedroom, though it cost 3x the price) and all sorts of miscellaneous mayhem. At this point I'll be lucky to make it home before the rest of my family goes back to their respective dwellings (the ones that did make it back are from the Twin Cities area of Minnesota).

One of my sisters was nice (naive?) enough to suggest that I drive home. When I got done laughing I relayed the message that the route I would take was closed. Things are starting to warm up and melt the snow away, but it's still a 1200-mile drive. That's 16 hours in good weather. Here's the last picture of my car before I finally drove it out last night:

The downside of 'dumping'

Half an hour of digging later I could actually drive the thing, all-season tires and all. Driving over the multiple mountain passes of Oregon, Washington, Idaho and Montana is not very high on my fun list, so I'm going to go ahead and wait on the train.

Here's hoping you all have a happy and safe holiday season and that you get to spend all the time you want with family and friends. Cheers!