Tailgate Alaska: The Weather Breaks

That's what I'm talkin bout

Yup, the sun even shines in Alaska sometimes. After another single-run, mostly-waiting day, (Enchanted Kingdom with Alex, Dane and Leigh, guided by Ken) I was downgraded to a half-day and the priority shaft that goes with it. Meaning I got to wait some more, even on a bluebird day. This waiting had a distinctly different feel to it. The feel that I'm actually going to ride, before the sun sets, just not right now. Much better than the past days of sitting around not knowing if I'll ever ride in AK. Today? Tomorrow!? Next year!?!? More like 1:00, be here, be ready. That's more like it.

My group for the day was three California firefighters: Martin, Lance and Clayton

Our guide, Ken, from Tahoe

Top of the first and third line: Cold Smoke (reverse view, I'm not insane)

Clayton, pure stoke on Cold Smoke.

Bottom of Cold Smoke. Fun features, 10-footers, etc.

Second run: Bloodstain. Follow the tracks back to the gully shadow in the middle.

Ender ender. Thanks everybody, see you next year!

That's as close as I can get you without a GoPro-on-a-stick. After that, you'll have to pony up the dough. Trust me, it's worth it. All waiting and bs aside, when the bluebird day came and I finally got out there, it was about the best time I've ever had. And that was only a half day... Start saving your pennies and clear your calendar for next April. I'll see you up there.

Tailgate Alaska: First Heli Run in the Books

Clear enough to ride

The window to ride opened this afternoon for three lucky groups. Fortunately, I was among them. The rest of our group consisted of Mike from San Diego, the product manager for Dragon; Alex from Germany, the European head of distribution for Rockstar Energy Drink and Dawn, who was late to show, so I know nothing about her. She was a skier and had a Jackosn Hole Air Force patch on her pack. Our guide was Dave the Wave. He also had a JHAF patch, but a different one. The legit-looking "Swift, Silent, Deep" one. His I believed. Wavey, as we called him, was small enough to fit in my pack and let the leash out on us a little. Good man.

The route we took was near the top of the middle ridge in the picture above, but it was on the other side. It was called R.F.S. The F is the f-word. The others mean "really steep." We took the not-as-steep route, it being our first time together as a group. That said it still maintained 45° for the first 1000 feet or so, which is steeper than most runs at Mt. Hood Meadows. Oh yeah and knee-deep powder. Lower on the run the snow got worse and the terrain flattened out, but not before some nice drops and ripped turns. Some shitty traverses later and we were at the road, waiting for our shuttle home. Yes, we took the run to the road and had a van retrieve us. Works in a pinch. This time, meteorological.

For sure, the weather was hot on our tails from the second we landed. Right now, it's dumping and howling. I'm told tomorrow morning is looking good, but I'm beginning to think they say that to keep our hopes up through the night. If the wind doesn't scour the slopes clean and the sun manages to grace us with her beauty, it might be on again mañana.

Hoping to see more of this

If that's all I get for heli-baording in Alaska, well, I'll have credit that rolls over for next year. I'm nowhere near satisfied. I'm told this is the lowest snow year on record here and with all the rocks on that run, I believe it. Then again, this storm tonight could produce. Stay tuned.

Tailgate Alaska: How About a Drink?

Mmm beer, I do feel welcome

The wi-fi is shaky around here, as is my computer. It doesn't like the cold. Never mind that, welcome to Tailgate Alaska. The worlds only snowboarding tailgate party. Probably. Saturday and Sunday were down days, as in the heli didn't fly and we sat around waiting. Here's a taste of what that feels like.

My group getting our heli briefing. Stand there: stay alive.

After the heli briefing was a quick avalanche beacon search test. Pretty basic for anyone who has used a beacon before. Similar for those who haven't. I'm sure you could teach a monkey to find a beacon. Those things are so good these days. You could almost use them blind and just go by the different sounds.

Sunday was the day I was scheduled to fly. No love from the weather. Everyone set for Saturday got rolled over and, well, it didn't matter, we all got some patience practice.

The Alaska Backcountry Adventures 'campus'

The most treacherous line I saw all day

The 'Dirty North' cave. He claims he stayed comfortable.

Venture Snowboards knows how to store a box of wine

My home away from home

Some digs had significantly better production

Sessioning a spine hip to pass the time

End of the day party

End of the party bonfire, going out to all who came before us and left too soon.

There you have it, the day you hope you never have to endure. The down day. The bitch of it is, you can never stray too far. Leave early and you risk losing the heli-skiing time you've payed your left foot for. right now for example, the weather looks like it might be breaking. Time to go check in again...

Tailgate Alaska, Here I Come!

Backcountry, AK. The Chugach Range. Valdez, Alaska. Seeing those captions was the start of any bucket list I've ever had.  I've never had dreams of climbing the highest mountains or running an arbitrary 26.2 miles (though I might do that, eventually). Flying off in a helicopter (a fucking helicopter!) away from safety and security and into the seeming unknown of the mountains, the vastness, the solitude, those are the movies playing inside my eyelids at night. Hence, at the top of the list:

#1) Heli-board backcountry Alaska.

And now it just so happens that an opportunity to do so has arisen. A good friend of mine (we'll call him Martin because that's his name) bought his ticket to Tailgate Alaska, made a deposit on an RV and later realized he just couldn't make it work. Rather than give it all up, he agreed to eat the money he'd already put down in favor of letting someone else have this glowing opportunity of shred-nificence. I seized said opportunity with the grip of Mark McGuire's 'roid addled hands on a Louisville Slugger (OK, so actually I hemmed and hawed and had to work through some persistent self-doubt before I pulled the trigger). A half-price trip to a shred mecca!? Heroes, legends and regular folk all drinking from the same cooler? Salivating over the same snow? The people I read about and the mountains I read about!? This is gonna be sooo fucking cool! I seriously already have butterflies.

Baldface 2009: Electrical Brainstorm

Day 4 started out like all the other days. Woke up feeling woozy and slightly nauseated. All the booze the night before couldn't have helped.

Now that reminds me. I never mentioned the night before. One of the dishwashers, known as Boney M, celebrated his birthday that night. Now, I don't know if it's a Canadian thing or a Baldface thing, but instead of a regular birthday spanking, we treated him to a spank tunnel. Here's how it works: all involved line up front to back with legs spread. Yeah, imagine humping the person in front of you from behind with a wide stance, then imagine a long line of this and you have the right idea. The birthday boy then crawls on his hands and knees through the tunnel formed by the spread legs. As he passes through, each person spanks him. Sounds easy, eh? Well, kitchen staff had at him with spoons and baking sheets. People from the front went around to the back after he had crawled through, so as to make a neverending tunnel. I'm sure he couldn't sit comfortably for a week. Makes me happy my birthday is in May. I don't want to be anywhere near snowboarders when it happens. I don't feel so bad for Boney, though. Think about it, dude washes dishes at a primo backcountry lodge. If he doesn't get to sample the savory goods on occasion, then I feel for him.

Also, all the Jesus talk came to a head. You see, 12 people fit in a cat and Jesus had 12 disciples. Didn't take long before we rounded up the posse and took this picture:

Accompanied by riotous rounds of "Jesus is Just Alright"

OK, back to the past present. Day 4. I'm eating breakfast. In this case, granola with 2%. Not much is going down. Idle chatter. How about some tea? Then, I go down. I wake up with Greg, the snow expert, standing over me looking concerned. "You had a seizure." No shit? The granola wasn't that bad. Martin was sticking me with an IV and a small crew was whisking me away to be evacuated via helicopter. Not exactly how I envisioned my first heli trip, but I guess I don't have many outs. At this point, I should mention that this is actually my second seizure. I had my first a year ago in Aspen. I was told it was a fluke. Guess even doctors can be wrong. Now that I've had two unprovoked seizures, I officially have epilepsy. What that means to me is two pills per day to keep it at bay. No driving for three months. Oh yeah and a one beer maximum per day (maybe two if I space them out well enough). How's that for weak. No, I can't save up drinks through the week and carry them over to a Saturday night. No, a 40oz. of OE is not one beer. I'm talking one 12oz. beer (or equivalent of other alcohol). Why don't they just give me a curfew and let me fully relive 15?

In new news, I've undergone a battery of tests and things are looking up. The meds are doing their job and nothing else is wrong with me. Basically, we wait and see. My next appointment is in six months. Coasting.

One good thing to come out of this is all of the great people around me. I thought I knew how rad the snowboarding community was, then this happened. I'm truly blown away. I've had dozens of people that I've known for less than a week offering their support. That means so much to me it's given me misty eyes multiple times. People are just amazing. There's no other way to say it. So many beautiful people are united just by the love of snow. If there's one thing I want to pass along more than anything else it's that: go out and meet your fellow riders, you'll be stoked on the folks you see.

Good people, spank tunnel notwithstanding

For my next entry, a full-on course in how to get the most out of your backcountry lodge experience. The dos, don'ts, ins, outs and what have you. Not one to miss. Seriously, that last one was skipable, but not this next one...