Funny, I Don't FEEL Like a Warrior

The first people I see are dressed in spandex unitards: one poison-frog green, the other flamingo pink. This would be strange if I wasn't planning on donning a ninja's garb with six of my friends. Plastic swords included. Farther down the road, dozens in various states of muddiness do their best to clean themselves in a pond the color of German chocolate. Those emerging only slightly cleaner than those entering. Up the hill, past registration, the race's end comes into view. First, hundreds of tires. Then, two small rows of flaming logs, maybe 50 feet apart. Finally, the mud pit. Dive in, crawl under six strands of barbed wire and down the muddy slip n slide to the finish. This is, of course, the reason we're all here, the Warrior Dash.

Ready to rock or ready for bed?

Ruthless

CHAAAARGE!

Then we disappeared into the woods for half an hour. Running up and down hills. Over junked cars and hay bales. Through ponds dotted with floating logs. We weren't all scheduled to run together, but we decided to anyway. The consequence of this was that those among us set to run at 3:30 were still digesting a heavy Mexican breakfast. Had they remembered that when we re-planned and hit the gates at 1:30, I'm sure they would have thought better of it. With the full posse together, we all helped each other out and ran together. We also hid behind obstacles and ambushed each other. That's just what ninjas do for fun. Fast forward to the end...

Like something out of a John Woo movie

You'd think this was a forced march, but we paid THEM

Comin' to git ya!

Is that all you got?

Which way to the showers?

Seriously!?

As clean as I get

Enjoying a warrior's dinner
(thanks to Jackie for all the photos)

Honestly a damn good time. Some people were more hardcore about it than others, but it seemed like most were there for a good time. The top finisher was under 16 minutes (for a 5k over plenty of hills with obstacles!?), so if you're out for one of the rad metal helmets, you better bring your A-game. If you just want to run a little with some friends, wear some funny costumes, eat a turkey leg, drink a beer, listen to a mediocre cover band, get a free shirt and an equally free fuzzy warrior hat, just check out warriordash.com, plunk down $40 and look for next year's race. Not a bad way to spend a lazy Sunday... Just don't expect to feel like a warrior when you're done.

(Note: My project at giveforward was a success. I raised $290, which is why you saw me in a rad costume. That money is going to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to help out some real warriors. I'd like to thank everyone who contributed, including my one anonymous donor. I really appreciate your support on my first ever running event. More importantly, the LLS appreciates it. Also, I would like to thank Bob Horning and all the folks at Horning's Hideout for hosting the Warrior Dash. It was a great venue. I could do without all the hills for running's sake, but the ponds and amphitheater were great. See you again next year..?)

Warrior Dash Learning

Over the weekend I did my most intense training for the Warrior Dash. I knocked off a four and a half mile run on a flat course in 35 minutes and ran either 3.3 or 2.7 miles (depending on whose map or GPS you trust) on a hilly course in 31 minutes. My confidence for the Dash is at an all-time high. At the end of the hilly run, I even did a bit of bear crawl under some playground equipment to simulate warrior obstacles. Nearby parents shared quizzical looks as they shepherded their children away from the crazy, ursine man.

Also, I'm getting a fair amount of contribution for my fundraising efforts. As of this writing, I'm still short of the $200 goal I set in order to wear a costume for the race. Not much short, but still short. Keep those dollars coming, race day is now inside a week!

One of the fun things about training has been discovering new things in my own neighborhood. For example, roses grow in any patch of grass left unattended. That's not news, this is the City of Roses after all. The fun flora doesn't stop there. Apricot, plum or plucot trees grow quite hardily and right about now anyone running on the sidewalks will have to navigate the minefield of their fruity droppings. I don't know when fig season is, but some of the trees in my neighborhood look like they're nearing harvest time. I've only ever seen one kiwi tree in my entire life and it just happens to grow six blocks away.

Just your neighborhood kiwi tree

This Sequoia 'totem' spreads her arms a block off the beaten path

Another thing I 'learned' in my training: running outside in 103° heat is just as miserable as 60 and hosing rain. I'm not sure which is worse. One thing's for certain, knowing I can run through those conditions was a big confidence boost. It's too soon for an accurate race day forecast, but my crystal ball says it won't be any worse than anything I've already been through.

Now, it's all over but the race. The hard training is behind me. I'll run a shorter route or two over the next few days, but nothing over a mile. Mostly I'm just letting my body recover from the hard stuff. In other words, I'm ready. I actually looked forward to and enjoyed my hardest training toward the end, so the race should be a good time. Barring catastrophe, I will compete and complete. Now I just need a couple more bucks and a kick-ass costume. Any ideas?