Volcom 'Holy Stokes!' On Tour

Ladies and gentlemen, this is not to be missed (even though I regretfully did). Find a tour date here and call up your crew (worldwide!) Hi-res skateboardsmanship at its finest. No harness or net. Prepare to be amazed, befuddled and possibly perplexed. Or maybe just stoked.

Summertime and Skate Videos

We're into mid-June. That call, text or visit with dad happened last weekend. These things signal summer. Some might say Memorial Day is the official start, but I grew up in North Dakota, where snow falls on Memorial Day just as often as it does on Halloween. If you haven't cleaned off the grill by Father's Day, you better help dad out and get after it.

Bored Storage

Anyway, I'm not pretending anymore. It's summer. My boards are waxed and planking in the rafters. I've never gone up to Hood in the summer. This year could always be the first, but I'm more into mountain biking, running and hiking. Things I can do without the travel commitment.  More and more I'm looking to skate videos for inspiration. I was e-wandering around over at Boardistan when I came upon this gem from a couple years ago.

I'm not surprised that I didn't see it earlier, either. It's a skate video that came out in December. Why would I ever watch that? It is, however, everything I could ever ask for in a minute and a half of video. The whole process. Slam, banger, high fives, commentary. I could watch something like that from damn near any sport or activity. You learn more about Nyjah Huston in that minute and a half than in most full video parts.

Speaking of young Mr. Huston, I remember the first time I saw him skate. It was the 2006 Dew Tour. He was 8 years old, 4 feet tall, had dreads down to his knees and was locking in ridiculous big spin hurricanes on every feature. I've never seen a kid that young and that talented. Speaking of which, Ryan Sheckler won that day. When I was 8, I was playing with Ninja Turtles, eating sand and feeding firecrackers to snakes. If only. My nieces have scooters, but are always trying to rip on my skateboard. Maybe it's time to get them their own. They live in the 'burbs. They say balance is best learned young. Just like everything, I s'pose.

I Wonder If They Need An Official Blog Sponsor

Need something to do this weekend in Portland? It's gonna be hot out, so maybe taking your ass to the coast and learning some water sports is in order. Failing that, we get a snowboard rail jam and a park skating contest on back-to-back days. Let me give you the dirty dirty.

First off, the Cricket Campus Rail Jam has been gnawing its way through college campuses in the west for months now. What started in Arizona will come to a spinning, sparking, pressing and sliding conclusion in Portland's Pioneer Courthouse Square (not really that close to any college campus, but whatev'), Saturday, May 30 at 1pm. They better have the snow cone machine on ludicrous speed to keep up with the projected mid-80s heat wave. Oh yeah, and Todd-would you rather-Richards is going to be there. He needs no intro and he is still high-larry-us. Probably the best MC/host type of all tyme-ah. All the proceedings are 100% free, so if nothing else, show up for the product toss. Maybe you'll score some panties from the energy drink sponsor.

Next day, not much different. Still predicted to be hot. Still sizzling, amateur, board-on-rail action. Still free. This time in a skate park. The Zumiez Couch Tour hits Glenhaven Skatepark and it doesn't let up until everyone has heat stroke. Actually it runs from noon 'til 6. Plenty of free junk from sponsors. The Enjoi team will be there to show you how it's done and/or write their names on things. Finally, when you're so sunburnt you can't even see past your swollen eyelids, the bands start, so you don't have to worry about it. Kandi Coded (featuring Jamie Lynn) starts things off and Emery shuts them down. Because it's a school night, the festivities will end while the sun is still high in the sky. Did I mention sunblock? We Portlanders aren't used to the cloudless skies. Exhibit A: my flaking arms from our last bout of cloudlesness. In addition to the requisite energy drink and skate sponsors, this one also has a burrito sponsor (for the last time, they're not owned by McDonalds anymore, there's nothing left to feel bad about) and a meat snack sponsor. No one goes hungry here.

Kandi Coded, in case you forgot

Bottom line: free 'action sports' (am I the only one who doesn't like that phrase?) entertainment all weekend long. Throw in a couple after-parties for the grown folk and you got yourself a reason to show up late for work on Monday. You might drink enough that you regret it, but trust me on the sunblock. You'll never regret that.