Exit Real World: Portland Birthday Bash

When you're Exit Real World, you throw three birthday parties. The first show was the little one. Out in the suburbs, lots of drunken teens. Salem went second and hosted 9191, complete with Jake Price, Austin Smith and Curtis Cizek. Now for the grand finale. Friday, October 22 Portland's Mission Theatre (1624 NW Glisan) will host Exit and show Think Thank's Right Brain, Left Brain. Just 5 bucks at the door gets you the movie, a sneak peek at Exit's new skate team video and undoubtedly a chance to do ridiculous things to win prizes. In Salem they even had a pie-eating contest.

Close dude won. Far dude said the pie tasted like crap.

Oh yeah, don't forget, biggest sale of the season at Exit's Portland location on NW 23rd the Saturday and Sunday following the show. Somewhere between 15 and 75% off any and everything. How about a picture of the flier? OK!

Exit Real World is Just About Legal

Think Portland and snowboarding and you probably think unreasonably long drives to schralp some glaciated park features in the summer... or in the rain. Right after that, though, you probably think about Exit Real World, the down-as-hell, 'core' shop that's celebrating it's 17th anniversary this month. That seed was actually sewn in Salem way back when and the party returns this weekend. Friday, October 15th at 8pm, The Ike Box in Downtown Salem (299 Cottage St.) will be lighting up the silver screen with Volcom's 9191 and Peepshow's Let's Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow. As if a shred double-feature wasn't good enough (did I mention it's only $5!?) Exit is having their biggest sale of the year the following Saturday and Sunday! Up to 75% off and shit!! Could I be more excited!!! Of course I could, think of all the free stuff they'll probably give away at this jam!!!1 I can hardly contain myself...

Kip Winger will not be appearing

We're All Just People

Sweet 16. So important MTV has a show for the parties and another show to comment on them. On said show, over-privileged and out-of-touch adolescent girls (and even some guys) basically do their best impression of Scrooge swimming in money. They spend thousands on clothes and tens of thousands on bands. They cry when daddy doesn't buy them the Land Rover or mommy takes away the credit card. All in the name of an exclusive sweet 16 birthday party. This world doesn't exist in my reality. The closest I've come is a party with free snowboard movies and some snacks. Let me recount to you this lavish soirée.

Exit exterior.

Portland skate/snow shop Exit Real World turns 16 this year and to celebrate they're throwing three parties. How's that for sweet? Party number one was at their Bridgeport Village location. On the docket was the People Creative's new offering, Nice Try. But what's this? A surprise late entry from Foreground productions entitled Rotate. Good to see the local kids getting together and laying down a bro movie. Exit also wheeled out (pun intended) their new skate video teaser. Add some free energy drinks, candy, popcorn, what-have-you and the assembled masses were ready for blood.

Bloodthirsty suburban teens.

What do you want from a snowboard movie? Rails, powder, park, backcountry freestyle, big lines? Gimme a break, videos are getting more diverse every year. Last year's "stunningly well-rounded" is this year's "complete, yet lacking creativity." We need more. Double corks? I hear the Chinese are already on to double corks. Next thing you know kids in North Dakota will be doing them. What else? Sketchy avalanche saves? Yawn. How about handplant to cliff drop? Do I have your attention now? Boy literally destroys rail? Snowmobile catches fire and melts into a different sort of watery grave while bewildered riders attempt to salvage gear? That sound like your kind of movie? Then give Nice Try a try. People Creative's navy sets to the frozen waves like the Spanish shred-Armada, plundering all powder and pillaging every park. Casualties are experienced in gnarly fashion, but in the end victory is claimed.

In the interest of full disclosure, Yobeat's Brooke Geery also gave me the DVD.

Marben starts it out by throwing methods in every possible circumstance. Yes, including urban. Robbie Walker demonstrates stylish slow rotations and double corks. Curtis Cizek, Louie Fountain, Bryan Fox, Jonas Carlson and Josh Mills get together on a pow bro fest or is it a bro pow fest? Hell of a fun section anyway with dudes slashing laybacks, dropping cliffs and otherwise making the flakes fly. Made me want to joint them. Shaun McKay, well, he's got a hell of a story for an insurance adjuster.

Featured riders: Wille Yli-Luoma, Seth Huot, Robbie Walker, Eiki Helgason, Lucas Debari, Zac Marben, Shaun Mckay, Will Tuddenham, Jon Kooley, Curtis Ciszek, Bryan Fox, Louie Fountain, Josh Mills, Jonas Carlson, Ricky Tucker, and Max Baillargeon