Thursday, June 16, 2011

Thursday Things: Snowboard Movies

My mom always told me not to use the word 'hate.' I'm sure it had something to do with negativity and disrespect. Looking back, she also told me to be careful how I used the word 'perfect.' Perfection can't be achieved and doesn't exist in reality.

I think I get it now. 'Perfect' and 'hate' are two sides of the same coin. Use with caution. My mom didn't want me hating people (I don't) or being a perfectoinist (see that). Point taken.

Counterpoint: I just HATE some things about snowboarding. What better day than Thursday to air these grievances.

Snowboard movies are just not conducive to watching while eating. Let's say you just popped in a snowboard movie and you're hungry. Do yourself a favor and turn off the movie. Especially if you haven't seen it before. Go make your food and eat it, then come back to the video. Here's what happens otherwise. You ruin dinner while paying too much attention to the movie. Guaranteed. The pasta turns to mush. You curdle the milk. You forget to add the powder packet. That's right, you can't even make mac and cheese from a box. Too many bangers. You'll probably even burn your microwave popcorn.

In a slightly better scenario, you save dinner, but then forget to eat it. You ace the preparation, but then sit down with your bowl of yellow, noodley goodness and the spoon never hits the tongue. You can try eating while watching, but you'll either miss the bowl and put an empty spoon in your mouth or you'll put a spoonful of noodles into the side of your cheek. You can get away with finger foods, but we both know you're not going to look down while Nicolas Muller is going off. He's just too good. Then Gigi, then Wolle. You know what this means. Tepid cheesy mac 45 minutes later. I hate that.

All you have to do is press 'pause.' That's what it's there for. Fill your gut with deliciousness and feast on the flick fulfilled. Now that's perfection. Thanks, mom.

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