Gear Review: Columbia Powder Bowl Parka

Summertime is the best time to buy new snowboard gear. Everything is half price. No, you won't have next year's gear, but you can shred easy knowing that you didn't pay full retail. With that in mind, let me introduce you to a jacket that you'd have to be nuts to pay full retail for: Columbia's Powder Bowl Parka.

Shell only. Snow nerd, not included.

The Powder Bowl is one of Columbia's 3-in-1 interchange jackets. You can wear the shell by itself, you can wear the liner by itself or you can zip the liner into the shell when it's extra cold. Both layers have Columbia's proprietary Omni-Heat technology, which they proclaim will keep you 20% warmer (it takes 20% more weight from other materials to equal the heat of Omni-Heat, allegedly).

Omni-Heat closeup. Silver dots reflect body heat.

I wore this jacket all winter, but the biggest test of warmth was on day one. At one point, I was standing around in near-zero-degree wind chill. With the liner and shell, I never got uncomfortably cold. Now, when we decided to get out of the wind and go to the warmer side of the mountain, even with the vents open 20º felt like 80º. You see, the liner doesn't have vents. It's just a synthetic, puffy 'sweater.' Opening the vents on the shell does nothing. Usually I treat my vents like an extra layer. This jacket combination doesn't allow for that. Once you've zipped the liner into the shell, you're locked in the sauna until you take off the liner. I can't overstate how big a drawback this is. In any outdoor venture you start out cold and warm up as you increase your activity level. With this warmth, you eventually need to dump heat or sweat like a Bikram yoga newbie. Not being able to dump heat means not being breathable enough. This severely limits the liner's uses. Even shoveling snow would overheat you. If you're a liftie or push a snowblower you might want this jacket. Carry the liner in your pack for when things get ultra-cold, emergency style. It does pack rather small.

The shell alone kept me warm snowboarding down to about 20-25º with a wool longsleeve shirt for layering. Of course, I tend to stay relatively warm. This puts the jacket in a similar category to my other non-Omni Heat jackets. The zip-in liner jacket is about twice as warm as the shell. A removable hood and vents on that thing would put it in another league.

Insulated liner

Speaking of hoods, the one on the shell will not fit over a size XL helmet without making you feel like The Great Cornholio. Then again few do. Be warned.

The water resistance skin is another proprietary technology. The shell has Omni-Tech. Columbia doesn't rate Omni-Tech in the standard mm of water resistance and gm of breathability scale. They just guarantee that it will keep you dry. Through one season, it did that job well. I'd compare the shell to a 20,000mm jacket.

The shell also stood up to some serious abuse. After days of heavy tree riding, I'd check it for wear and see nothing but skidmarks from the branches. No tears, no scratches. The fabric is remarkably durable, but even that comes with baggage: it is also remarkably stiff and takes a while to break in. One friend said I looked pregnant the way the shell tented out from my body. The combination of the fabric's stiffness and the zipper's stiffness makes for a goofy look, like I'm smuggling a dog house out of a pet store. This eased up, but it took time.

The liner's skin is Omni-Shield, a lighter-duty material touting water and stain repellency. It never saw snowboarding action by itself, but it did just fine in the drizzly Portland rain. I wouldn't take it through the trees, but it does fine around town.

Let's get back to the shell. The thing has eight pockets. Eight!? Eight, Bob. Too many. I used three. Pants have pockets, too, people. Anyone who wants eight pockets rides with a backpack.

Speaking of redundancy. This jacket has a water-tight front zipper with a double storm flap on the inside and half of one on the outside (chest to chin). If you want to show off the zipper, what's with the flaps? And why the half-flap on the outside anyway!? This jacket is just confusing. Why not a more flexible zipper with storm flaps as necessary?

On the topic of "looks useful but isn't", let's talk about the powder skirt. It has zero interface with pants. No clips, buttons, hooks, velcro, nada. It doesn't stay in place. EVER. If they could fix one thing that would make this jacket almost worth it, a powder skirt that actually works would be it. All of the other complaints are pretty minor, this one actually makes me wish I had a ninja suit or bibs. It lets snow where it doesn't belong. Making me mad and possibly cutting my day short should be something an outerwear company wants to avoid at all costs. On the bright side, you can zip it off and give it to your girlfriend for use as a real skirt. If you do, send me pictures.

Speaking of keeping the snow out. Where are the wrist gaiters? This jacket is too expensive not to have them. It might be tough to pull off with the interchange, but you'll figure it out. This is not an option, it's a necessity. Remember, keep snow out of the places it doesn't belong. If you can figure out a built in neck gaiter that actually works, you'll be rewarded there, too.

A word on fit. I'm about 6'1", 170# and I went with the large. I tried on the XL at a local store and it didn't seem to be much if any longer in the body, just in the sleeve and body width. When you try it on, remember to try on all three configurations as the fit of the liner alone is much different from the shell alone. The large was probably right for me, if a little short. It could have been made to feel like it fit better if the powder skirt worked better. Oh and it's no Holden, the cut is rather square. 

Full retail price, not according to Bob Barker, is $300. The internets are selling it for $180. Columbia sent it to me for free because they're trying to get tight with all the snowboard bloggers. That's why there's a dozen reviews of this jacket out there.

In the end, this jacket isn't worth $300. For that price, you can do better with a 20k shell with better features and your layering of choice. For $180 it's certainly closer. Columbia needs to figure out a better way to design clothes for people who are active outside. The Powder Bowl Parka isn't it.

Thursday Things: Academic

This might not be news to you, but when I heard it the other day, I almost lost my mind. A friend of mine coaches at Windell's. He says people actually sign up for the academy, plunk down tens of thousands of dollars per term in 'tuition,' have lofty expectations of shred stardom and have yet to strap into a board. Wow! Just let that sink in for a second. That would be like signing up for a college journalism program without knowing how to write.

So much for wanting to go out and have some fun in the snow. From the first time these kids touch it, they're on a career path. Parents, I think you skipped the 'lift ticket and lesson' step. Maybe splurge on a private lesson. Snowboarding is officially on baseball's level. Big time. Academies pumping out single-minded stars. Is this what's been going on back east with all the 'mountain schools'? Are we in for a generation of snow-bots?

Kids are stoked. They get an amazing opportunity at a world-class facility. Parents are either madly in debt or have too much money to care. At that age, they're probably also stoked to send the kids away for a bit. The Academy is stoked. Did I mention tens of thousands of tuition dollars? Seems like a 'win' all the way around.

But what about the sport? That's one less kid who got hooked on riding down a hill at a local golf course. One less kid who patted down three-foot jumps to flat by hand and hucked herself 'til she couldn't see straight. One less kid who just wanted to get outside and hang out with his friends in the wintertime. All for one more kid who can do one more cork.

Here's hoping it doesn't kill the experience for them. Snowboarding isn't math. Maybe they learn to have a good time.

Wednesday Wordplay: For the Dogs

I was talking to Bob before a meeting the other day. His girlfriend got a new dog. Here we go. I don't much care about dogs, but I know what question comes next. "What kind of dog, Bob?" It came out before I even thought about it. The answer is what blew me away. A Silken Windhound. A what!? A Silken Windhound.

I have no idea what he said next. Something like a whippet with long hair. I'm still wowed by the name. Everyone in the room thinks I'm giving Bob shit. I'm totally serious.

Best. Dog. Breed. Name. Ever.

Put it this way, he used to have a greyhound (might still). Bo0o0o-ring! Not a jazzhound, not a redhound, just a greyhound. At least they run fast. Probably trying to escape their boring name. This is a Silken Windhound. It might as well be an anime character or a diety in the Buddhist pantheon. Perhaps a Boeing tagline: Ride the silken wind. Whoever came up with that one gets a gold star. Unless it was the same person who came up with greyhound. Then I have follow-up questions. Who the fuck names their cross-country bus company after the boring one? Not enough room on the side of the vehicle for Silken Windhound?

Thursday Things: Snowboard Movies

My mom always told me not to use the word 'hate.' I'm sure it had something to do with negativity and disrespect. Looking back, she also told me to be careful how I used the word 'perfect.' Perfection can't be achieved and doesn't exist in reality.

I think I get it now. 'Perfect' and 'hate' are two sides of the same coin. Use with caution. My mom didn't want me hating people (I don't) or being a perfectoinist (see that). Point taken.

Counterpoint: I just HATE some things about snowboarding. What better day than Thursday to air these grievances.

Snowboard movies are just not conducive to watching while eating. Let's say you just popped in a snowboard movie and you're hungry. Do yourself a favor and turn off the movie. Especially if you haven't seen it before. Go make your food and eat it, then come back to the video. Here's what happens otherwise. You ruin dinner while paying too much attention to the movie. Guaranteed. The pasta turns to mush. You curdle the milk. You forget to add the powder packet. That's right, you can't even make mac and cheese from a box. Too many bangers. You'll probably even burn your microwave popcorn.

In a slightly better scenario, you save dinner, but then forget to eat it. You ace the preparation, but then sit down with your bowl of yellow, noodley goodness and the spoon never hits the tongue. You can try eating while watching, but you'll either miss the bowl and put an empty spoon in your mouth or you'll put a spoonful of noodles into the side of your cheek. You can get away with finger foods, but we both know you're not going to look down while Nicolas Muller is going off. He's just too good. Then Gigi, then Wolle. You know what this means. Tepid cheesy mac 45 minutes later. I hate that.

All you have to do is press 'pause.' That's what it's there for. Fill your gut with deliciousness and feast on the flick fulfilled. Now that's perfection. Thanks, mom.

Beer and Roaming in Las Vegas

Where have I been the last few weeks? Vegas, that's where. I have a theory that Las Vegas doesn't actually exist. You get on a plane, they pump in some hallucinogens and then you 'land' in Vegas. It's a good place to spend a birthday. With this new year on my age, I feel I've picked up a little wisdom. Wisdom about the city of fantasy, temptation and as much sin as that all leads to. I will dispense that wisdom now.

Wear sunscreen (and sunglasses). If I could offer you only one tip for Las Vegas, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists (maybe), whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

Drink water. You'll hear people hawking water for a dollar on the strip. Buy it. Between the dry air and all the booze and coffee you're drinking, you'll need it.

Wear comfortable shoes. The Stratosphere is farther away than it looks, but probably worth the visit. Unlike the Trump which is closer than it looks but not worth the visit in any way.

On second thought just take a cab. Especially if you have more than one person. You can go from one end of the strip to the other for $15. The monorail isn't a bad idea if you're solo. It's quick and $5 per trip. If you're 'that guy' you can jump the gates and it's free. Cameras are everywhere in that town, though. Be warned.

Don't bother with a rental car, you'll only end up frustrated.

Take the escalators before your feet start hurting.

When playing table games with or against chatty players, adopt an alter-ego. It's fun and challenging.

A word on strip clubs, you can debate which one's best 'til you're blue in the balls. The best deal is this, you can get free entry, a free ride to the club and usually a free drink to ANY club you want. The catch? Nothing, you just call and ask. Seriously. Try it. Be amazed. They know how much money you're going to drop once you get there, so the first round is on them.
One word of warning: don't use a credit card, they will overcharge you. ATM fees will probably be even higher than the casinos, too.
And you can get sex in the champagne room, but it will lead to herpes. Your mileage may vary, etc.

I've been known to keep keycards from whichever hotel I stay at to access different pools on later trips. An opponent of mine at the poker table took this one step further. She buys them on eBay. She said they work even when the employees swipe them at the pool. At least it did at Bellagio with what she said was a six-year-old card. Or maybe they work because she's female. Or maybe no one really cares if you poach their pool.

Serendipity 3 is a restaurant by Caesar's Palace known for big plates. Among them is a chocolate treasure chest filled with cake, ice cream, chocolate-covered fruit and deep-fried Oreos. It goes for $88 and should only be attempted by 8 or more people (no matter what the menu says). My crew of 10 didn't even finish it... Totally worth the effort anyway.

Eat at Nobu. Believe the hype, but bring a hundo.

The rest of the time, eat on the cheap at food courts. In-N-Out, Fat Burger and all your other more traditional fast food places are here, too. One list of good deals is at lasvegasadvisor.com. Come to think of it, they have lots of good info.

Once and for all, you do not have to gamble to have a good time. Vegas has amazing restaurants, nightclubs, comedians, shows, pools and even outdoor activities. If you don't want to go outside at all (maybe it's 120°outside), you don't have to. Every hotel on the strip and the bigger ones off-strip and downtown have a selection of restaurants, clubs, bars and shows. If you want to get away, Hoover Dam and Lake Mead are nearby, so is some great rock climbing and even snowboarding. Another popular thing to do is head over to The Gun Store and shoot some machine guns. Yes, really. Everyone has different 'must see and do' lists. Just remember that everything is possible. It's your job to find out how.

Everything is cheaper downtown. From $1 craps to $1.99 shrimp cocktails. Quality adjusts accordingly.

That said, don't try to do too much or you'll end up just glossing over it all. It's the age-old quantity vs. quality debate in action. My rotation was pool, eat, poker, eat/drink, nap. Play poker at different places, eat and drink at different places and you'll get to see a bit of the offerings. Unless your trip is a couple weeks long, don't think you'll get to see everything in town or even everything on the strip in one visit. It's OK, Vegas isn't going anywhere.

A couple sites I go to for Vegas info are cheapovegas.com and twoplustwo.com. Twoplustwo is a poker forum, but the Vegas Lifestyle area is quite informative. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments, I'm always looking for new ideas and things to see in the City of Exorbitant Imagination.

See you there and good luck! Unless you're at my table, then I hope you always chase and miss.