Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Funny, I Don't FEEL Like a Warrior

The first people I see are dressed in spandex unitards: one poison-frog green, the other flamingo pink. This would be strange if I wasn't planning on donning a ninja's garb with six of my friends. Plastic swords included. Farther down the road, dozens in various states of muddiness do their best to clean themselves in a pond the color of German chocolate. Those emerging only slightly cleaner than those entering. Up the hill, past registration, the race's end comes into view. First, hundreds of tires. Then, two small rows of flaming logs, maybe 50 feet apart. Finally, the mud pit. Dive in, crawl under six strands of barbed wire and down the muddy slip n slide to the finish. This is, of course, the reason we're all here, the Warrior Dash.

Ready to rock or ready for bed?


Then we disappeared into the woods for half an hour. Running up and down hills. Over junked cars and hay bales. Through ponds dotted with floating logs. We weren't all scheduled to run together, but we decided to anyway. The consequence of this was that those among us set to run at 3:30 were still digesting a heavy Mexican breakfast. Had they remembered that when we re-planned and hit the gates at 1:30, I'm sure they would have thought better of it. With the full posse together, we all helped each other out and ran together. We also hid behind obstacles and ambushed each other. That's just what ninjas do for fun. Fast forward to the end...

Like something out of a John Woo movie
You'd think this was a forced march, but we paid THEM
Comin' to git ya!
Is that all you got?
Which way to the showers?
As clean as I get
Enjoying a warrior's dinner
(thanks to Jackie for all the photos)
Honestly a damn good time. Some people were more hardcore about it than others, but it seemed like most were there for a good time. The top finisher was under 16 minutes (for a 5k over plenty of hills with obstacles!?), so if you're out for one of the rad metal helmets, you better bring your A-game. If you just want to run a little with some friends, wear some funny costumes, eat a turkey leg, drink a beer, listen to a mediocre cover band, get a free shirt and an equally free fuzzy warrior hat, just check out, plunk down $40 and look for next year's race. Not a bad way to spend a lazy Sunday... Just don't expect to feel like a warrior when you're done.

(Note: My project at giveforward was a success. I raised $290, which is why you saw me in a rad costume. That money is going to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to help out some real warriors. I'd like to thank everyone who contributed, including my one anonymous donor. I really appreciate your support on my first ever running event. More importantly, the LLS appreciates it. Also, I would like to thank Bob Horning and all the folks at Horning's Hideout for hosting the Warrior Dash. It was a great venue. I could do without all the hills for running's sake, but the ponds and amphitheater were great. See you again next year..?)


  1. First you stab in the in the gut, then you spell my name wrong...

  2. I have NO IDEA what you're talking about... =)


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.