Monday, February 16, 2009

Board Exam: 2009 Gnu Altered Genetics BTX

Most people right now are previewing next years boards that aren't even on shop shelves yet. Not me. I'm still hopelessly mired in the present. These are boards you can actually go out and buy. Not only that, but you can probably find them on sale right about now. Which, in the case of this board, is the only time I could possibly afford it. I give you Gnu's Altered Genetics:Dope topsheet, but how does it shred?

While cousin Lib Tech has the super-freaky Cygnus X-1, Gnu has to settle for the slightly less freaky Altered Genetics. I use the term 'settle' in full sarcasm, the AG is a high-tech board with a high-tech price to match. The rep blabbed about a bunch of stuff that I don't really understand: weird polymers and mutant woods and what not. When you run your fingernail across the topsheet, it sounds like you're zipping up a zipper. Like one of those pictures that has a different image when you look at it from the side. The topsheet only has one graphic, though, bummer. Has anyone done that yet? It's made out of beans, says the rep. I can dig it. Cut the shit, Yak, HOW DOES IT RIDE ALREADY!? Oh, I'm glad you asked...

This is the board I've been waiting for. As I've said in the past, the banana tech makes boards feel longitudinally looser for easy pressability. Feeling soft on butters is something of an illusion caused by the banana shape. You see, the board's natural shape, with no external pressure, holds it up at the nose and tail, where with a cambered board you work against the shape to do a nosepress. What's the point? A board like the AG can simultaneously butter like a park board and rail like a race board (even through a storm of sticks and ice balls, in this case) without the extreme sacrifices of either. The best of both worlds!

This board was a lot of fun to ride and I was just cruising hardpacked groomers at Baker. It held a carve on ice as well as anything could and when it came time to leave the snow, it popped like a champagne cork atop a podium. The board responded great and felt light and lively underfoot. A great ride for the trees. I didn't get to ride it in pow, so I can only speculate there. If it's as good there as it is everywhere else, it might, might be worth that $600 price tag. For explanations of all those things I don't understand just check out Gnu's website.


  1. Made out of beans? Mutant wood? The name altered genetics seems to be descriptive.

  2. Thanks for the review B-Yak, diggin your blog too... I'll keep an eye out here on the east coast for you, what size you want?


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