And I don't mean 'tricked' like you just tricked out your Honda Civic, I mean 'conned.' You see, I got a flier for this show that would be going down at the Grand Central Bowl (yeah, same place as the Burton show, this place sure is popular among the shred set). The promo copy raved about Widmer (a local, craft brewery) releasing their new winter seasonal beer, called 'Brrr.' Now this by itself is confusing. Imagine the scenario, if you will:
"Hey, man, while you're up can you get me a beer."
"No problem, what kind?"
"Yeah, I know, what kind of beer?"
"A Brrr, Widmer makes it."
"Oh, so you want a hefeweizen?" (Widmer's most popular beer)
"No, I want a Brrr."
"Fine, get it yourself, dick."
It's sort of a "Who's on first?" dilemma. Anyway, something about this flier made me assume the beer would be free. You know what they say about assumptions... Of course I was wrong.
The next thing mentioned on the flier was a fashion show featuring the likes of Holden and Icebreaker. Now, when I see 'fashion show,' I think 'hot-ass women.' Now just for the record (and because she's one of the probably 2 people who read this blog, the other being my mom [love you mom]), I am dating a wonderfully beautiful woman named Jackie. Have been for years. This does NOT mean I can't go to a fashion show to look at other hot-ass women. Here's where the problem comes in with the fashion show: half the models are dudes. On top of that, Icebreaker makes things like long-underwear and socks. Put it all together and you have dudes modeling long-underwear and socks. In a bowling alley. If you're not laughing yet just check out the pictures.
My saving grace was the fact that I ran into a friend of mine, Jeremy, who I don't get to see nearly often enough. He had a friend who was a VIP and got us front-row seating for the show and luckily I sat next to someone who found this whole event just as comical as I did. Which brings up a serious question, can anybody tell me why models don't smile? These guys were all doing their best Blue Steel.
I'm really not sure as to the point of the whole fashion show thing. This was my first time, so bear with me. Models walk out wearing some Holden gear. I think to myself, 'Wow, Holden has some really nice looking jackets and some that aren't so great.' That's it. I don't know which jackets are the good ones. I still have to go to the store to figure out what they're called and how much they cost. Maybe a little play-by-play would have helped. "Here's Jane in Holden's
Don't get too excited, it was a ski movie and I left somewhere around the third section. The film company, Rage, is out of Bend, so the Bachelor shots were cool, but nothing is more contrived than skiiers on street rails. If you think urban snowboarding is bad, check this out. First of all, just walking in ski boots is a chore (I've spent exactly four days skiing, in junior high on church ski retreats), not to mention walking up stairs. Couple that with skis and poles and the fact that they do exactly two tricks, frontside and backside. No presses or blunts or crazy one-footed jibbery. I'm going to sound like a hater, but it all looks the same to me. The only difference is how much they spin on and off. And they do spin more than snowboarders, to be sure, but you can only spin so much onto a rail and still look good. A 990 on is just going to make you too dizzy to land it. The potential is high that you just castrate yourself right there on the spot. If you find yourself watching anything and the only thing keeping you going is the hope of castration, just turn it off and/or walk away (rodeo fans, I'm talking to you, too). Unless you score a free beer from your VIP friend, then go ahead and stay long enough to drink it.
I almost forgot, Gustav, a DJ from local radio station 94.7 was behind the turntables all night, spinning some Top 40 mixes. The setup had his back to the crowd, ensuring his radio mystique of being heard but not seen.